Growing Up

Why is it that most young children always want to be older? I remember when I was still a little tyke, maybe 4 or 5 and could barely reach the sink at our bathroom counter. I couldn't wait until I could actually put my elbows on the counter, not have to stretch and strain to reach the sink and be able to look in the mirror. Yeah, a silly wish but  looking back, I almost wish I was a little kid again. Carefree world. Little responsibilities. Naive. Innocent. Wild imaginations.

Now that I am 21, starting my last year in college, and moving into a house off campus instead of living in my dorms, the responsibilities are piling. I actually have to budget my money because I have more expenses now (money must be in existence so God could refine our trust in Him because that is all I am left with right now). This summer I was inundated in the work force with a "real" 8-5 job, finding out what it's really like and now will forever be working and working and working. 

As I was eating my snow cone tonight from Snow Castle (the best snow cone place, right by my church!) on the way home from church, it was just Dad and me in the car and we got to chat all the way home about life. I love our chats like this because he has so much wisdom to impart to me. Growing up is hard, it really is, and it's nice to have someone to show me the ropes, one who has been through many years of life.

My senior year is going to be full of changes. I like change for the most part. Keeps things fresh. Instead of working this semester, I really would like to try out for Cedarville's JV basketball team. Yeah, I know. Senior year. Crazy. but every year since high school I have missed playing sports in a real game with real refs, especially playing basketball. I have a few friends on the CU team and I think it could be so fun. My last chance to play on an official team. Also, I will not be bringing my French horn to play in band or Brass Choir. Every semester up till now I have played in either band, BC, or both. With my education classes and field experience this semester, I just can't play. Kinda sad. Instead of living in the dorms this year, I am living in a house off campus with my roommate and friends. I am so excited to have a homey place during the school year! Another different thing is that this is my last semester at CU forever; I won't be coming back in the spring. I won't see my CU friends in the spring. I won't see them much at all once I leave CU; they live all over the country.

I love the opportunities and the freedom of being an adult, but now I face different problems and situations than when I was a kid. Whenever I run into a younger kid or a highschooler, I tell them to not wish their life away and to enjoy where they are at now because as they grow up, they will realize how precious those times were.

Maybe because I am older and notice more, lately I just look out at the world and see how awfully corrupt it is. Sometimes I would just lay in bed in the early morning and look out my window at the trees blowing in the wind, cringing at what our world is like now, how far down it's gone. My heart hurts thinking about it.  Of course I've always known the world has been tainted by sin, but my eyes have been more open to its effects, for some reason, and I can get depressed if I'm not careful. Yes, we have a terrible, sinful world, but we also serve an incredibly powerful God who has overcome the world, and I have to constantly keep that in mind! 
(Sorry I am kind of all over the place in this post. I have had so much on my heart recently and needed to share it.)

Lately, I have been encouraged by this fact that I do serve an all-powerful, all-knowing God that I can trust with my life, with my finances, with my family and friends. He has overcome the world and is faithful to take care of my needs. He will bring me through every stage of my life and guide me through the changes, whether easy or difficult. Easier said than done, but I know I can cling to His truth.

I love the song I heard on the radio today: Holy, Holy, Holy, is the Lord God Almight, Who was and is and is to come. With all Creation I sing, praise to my King of Kings; You are my everything, and I will adore you!